Raising Great Kids Blog

It would appear parents and their children all love Facebook – and why wouldn’t they – it’s a great place to connect with family and friends and keep up-to-date on all the gossip.  It’s also a handy place for parents to keep a watchful eye on their little darlings

Don’t be Surprised…

But don’t be surprised if you find yourself a Facebook Unfriend when your children reach a certain adolescent age.

I found myself Facebook Unfriended when my oldest son was around 17.  I felt a little hurt and slightly unloved to be honest, but I wasn’t surprised.

Let’s face it, what 17 year old boy wants his mum looking over his shoulder and checking out his social scene? Thinking back to when I was 17, I certainly didn’t want my parents knowing all about my socialising. What about you?

Parents are so fortunate today…

When I was out and about as a teenager, my parents couldn’t contact me. The only way they knew I was okay was if I phoned them – from a public phone box!

Remember them?  When was the last time you used a public phone?  Do they still exist?  I guess they do, but I’m getting away from the point I wanted to make.

Parents today have around-the-clock access to their children via mobile phones – reassurance of their child’s well-being is but a text away.

How fortunate are parents today. Do you realise how much our own parents would have loved to be able to do that!

So don’t fear the Facebook Unfriend…

If you discover your kids have hit the Facebook Unfriend button (at a ‘suitable’ age of course) just shake off that unloved feeling in the knowledge you still have 24/7 access if you need it.

And don’t be concerned they wont answer your call or reply to your text. It’s been my experience that teenagers go onto auto-pilot when their mobile phone rings.  They just automatically answer or text without even realising they are doing it half the time. And if they don’t, you could always resort to threatening not to pay their mobile phone bill

Oh, the joys of parenthood.

I wouldn’t be without it – would you?

Thanks for reading Raising Great Kids – Facebook Unfriend.

You might also enjoy:-

Raising Great Kids – Nippers

Raising Great Kids – Letting Go

If you enjoy reading my blog, you might like to follow my Fan Page on Facebook – only just set up today! You’ll find the ‘like’ button at the top of the page in the side bar.

Thank you for any comments and if you enjoyed this particular post, please share on social media.

Jan Littlehales

Children sharing – this is an interesting topic and one I have a few thoughts about.

Children Sharing

First of all, I do believe that children need to learn to share, but I also think that children sharing can be taken to such ridiculous lengths it can end up doing no good at all – even ‘damaging’ a child in some circumstances.

So, What do I Mean by That?

• You’ve just taken procession of a new, long awaited car.  Just as you’re about to drive out of the car dealership, a good mate turns up and asks if he can drive it.  Well, do you let him?
• You’ve just downloaded (legally of course) your favourite songs onto your new iPod.  A girlfriend calls around and asks if she can use the iPod for the afternoon.  Well, can she?
• It’s your daughter’s birthday and she’s thrilled with the new baby doll you’ve bought her.  Her party friends want to play with it.  Well, do you make her let them?

Over the years I’ve been to children’s parties where the birthday boy or girl has ended up in tears and in some cases been sent to their rooms because they didn’t want their friends to play with their new toys.  Yet, are their new toys any different from ours?  Our toys might cost more, but I don’t believe kids’ toys are any less precious or valuable in their eyes.

Children Sharing

Most mates would know not to ask to drive a friend’s new car (at least not before the friend had driven it) and I doubt a girlfriend would ask to use a friend’s new iPod on day one.  But children don’t necessarily know when it’s appropriate and not appropriate to ask to share.  We should encourage our children to share, but also teach them when it’s appropriate to ask to share.  Once the initial excitement and newness has worn off, a child will be more enthusiastic about sharing – just as we are with our new ‘toys’.

Children Learn by Example

Every time you have friends around for coffee or dinner you are sharing.  A neighbour loans your lawn mower.  You borrow a friend’s video camera.  A friend borrows your car to drive to the airport.  You’ve borrowed books and DVD’s (and returned them of course).  Neighbours are invited to use your pool on a hot day.  Your child borrows your clothes for dress up.

As children grow, if they see see sharing as being part of everyday life, they will likely be happy to make it a part of their life too.

What are your thoughts on children sharing?

I look forward to reading your comments below.  Thank you for reading another Raising Great Kids blog.

You might also enjoy:

Raising Great Kids – Unconditional Love

Raising Great Kids – Reading

Jan Littlehales

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to meal times I like to see some manners at the dining table.  While raising great kids I think it’s important table manners are discussed and taught from an early age.

Some ‘trying’ table manners

A couple of months ago we took part in a school fund raiser and had a 14 year old Japanese student stay at our house.  He was a delightful young man but some of his table manners sucked!  Eating terribly fast with his mouth open and making a lot of noise in the process.

I realised this may be Japanese custom, so I checked with other parents who had students staying, but it turned out their students weren’t necessarily doing this.  Of course, we didn’t say anything to him.  He was only with us for 10 days, so we figured we could put up with it for that long – and he did have other lovely qualities.

Table Manners - still learning

What table manners do you insist upon while raising great kids?

Here are a few that spring to my mind:-

• Nobody wants to see what you’re eating – so no talking with food in your mouth
• Nobody wants to hear you chewing, so chew quietly if the meal permits – crackling pork springs to mind as an exception
• Eating is not a race
• Chewing food is important as it helps with digestion
• Use the knife and fork properly – the fork is not a shovel
• Don’t use your knife and fork to point at people and things while talking
• Don’t ‘play’ with your food
• When you’ve finished your meal, put your knife and fork together on the plate
• Sit up straight
• Elbows off the table
• Keep your elbows to yourself so you don’t poke your neighbour in the ribs
• Know what’s acceptable to eat with your fingers, and what’s not
• Don’t have eyes bigger than your belly (we’ve all heard that one)
• Take part in conversation but don’t dominate it
• When you leave the table, tuck your chair in

My goodness, the list was longer than I thought – and I’m sure to have missed a few!

Table Manners - getting better

Table Manners take time to learn

While raising great kids, don’t expect your children to learn all this stuff in their infant or even primary years.  My boys are well into their teens and they still need the occasional reminder – and so do I for that matter. But, like most things, after years and years of practicing, table manners will eventually become automatic – well almost!

Your children will pass on what they’ve learned

Your children will likely pass on what they’ve learned to their own kids.  So teaching table manners will lead to generation after generation of acceptable behaviour at the dining table, whereas the opposite could be true if table manners are not taught.

So come on parents, we owe it to our kids to pass on this important habit.

“Elbows off the table please… don’t chew with your mouth open…  stop playing with your food… and I do hope your hands are clean”.  Oh, the joys of being a parent

Thanks for reading another raising great kids blog.

You might also enjoy:

Raising Great Kids – Sharing

Raising Great Kids – Healthy Eating Habits

What are your thoughts on table manners and raising great kids?  You can leave comments below.

Jan Littlehales

Yes, that’s right, TRY-athlon (not triathlon) – and I can’t think of a more fun way of raising great kids.

So what is it?

Tryathlon is organised annually by Sanitarium Week-Bix and is held in most major cities in Australia around February/March time. It’s an absolutely wonderful event and the whole idea is that kids have a go at taking part in a triathlon, thoroughly enjoying themselves along the way.   It’s not a race, it’s just about taking part and having a TRY …and everyone’s a winner, whether or not they are able to fully complete each event.

It starts with the swim

The Sydney Tryathlon is held at Homebush Olympic Park and the event starts in the Olympic pool.  The atmosphere is electric as boys and girls line up in their age groups to start their swim.  There are plenty of life-guards both in and out of the water to help any kids who might be struggling.  And if it all becomes too hard the kids can get out of the pool and go onto the next part of the event.

The next part is the cycle

All the bikes are lined up in age and gender order before the Tryathlon starts – and there are hundreds of them.  As soon as the kids are out of the pool they make their way to their bikes.  Shoes, helmets and sponsor vests are put on as quickly as possible and off they go on the cycle leg.  It’s just so exciting.

The final leg is the run

Bikes are put back in their original places and the final run leg starts.  Some kids forget to take off their bike helmets and others still have swim caps and goggles in place – but doesn’t matter.  Everyone’s having a go – and more importantly, having fun.  As the kids cross the finishing line they are given a ‘gold’ medal – and if they don’t quite make it to the finishing line, they get one anyway for taking part.  Like I said earlier, they are all winners!

Talk about raising great kids, it happens with abundance every year at this event.

From experience…

If you live in Australia you’ll know it can be very hot in summer and on the three occasions my boys have taken part the weather has been in the high 30′s.  Remember to take lots of extra water and water-proof  suntan cream.  It’s also a good idea to encourage your kids to train for the event, that way they have a better chance of being able to complete the race without assistance.

You can find out more about Sanitarium Week-Bix Tryathlon here.  Events fill up fast, so if your children are keen to be involved in 2011 I suggest you book soon.

Thanks for reading another raising great kids blog.  Taking part in Tryathlon – just another way of raising great kids.

You might also enjoy:

Raising Great Kids – Building Sandcastles

Raising Great Kids – Nippers

Jan Littlehales

Letting Go

From the moment a mother conceives there is an undeniable bond created and from that moment a mother will do all in her power to love and protect her baby.

The need to protect…

While raising great kids, the absolute need to protect our children is amazingly strong.  We protect them from all sorts of potential danger.  When they are very young we do all we can to protect them from drowning, serious falls, burns, choking, getting sick and even against starvation.

As they grow our need to protect them doesn’t waver.   Any parent who has had a child in hospital because of sickness or injury will tell you they would gladly trade places with them if they could.  To see your own child suffering has got to be one of the hardest things a parent has to do.  It’s all consuming and at that time nothing else matters except the well-being of your child.

But …

Yes, there is a but.  While raising great kids, there are many times when you have to learn to let go.  And I’m the first to admit letting go hasn’t always been easy for me.

I remember…

…the first time my eldest son cycled to school – on his own – without my protection.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t prepared.  I’d been cycling to school with him every Friday (weather permitting) for years.  So when he started High School, which was right next to his old Primary School, there was no reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to cycle the 5 kilometres by himself.

Plenty of other kids were doing it and it was mostly on pavements.  He’d proved to me numerous times he knew how to safely navigate the two roundabouts and to always be on the lookout for cars backing out of driveways.  He knew to look and listen constantly and go slowly through the group of people at the bus stop.  And he knew to be extra careful cycling passed two ‘blind’ driveways.

So why did I feel physically sick the first day he did it?  I knew the cycle to school would take no more than 20 minutes, but it was only when I hadn’t heard anything from anybody (police, school, etc) for about an hour that I finally started to relax and accept he’d got to school safely.

Of course I started feeling sick again around 3 o’clock in the afternoon when I knew he’d be getting ready to cycle home.  When I heard the side gate being opened and knew he’d got home safely I managed to quickly pull myself together and welcome him home.

The days became weeks and the weeks became months, and slowly but surely I began to comfortably accept that my son was perfectly capable of getting to and from school safely – on his own – without my protection.  I was finally letting go.

By the way…

I went through exactly the same scenario three years later with my younger son.

Just one of many

Of course, the cycling to school story is just one of many situations where I’ve had to learn to let go while raising great kids.  Over the years there have been numerous times, even when my boys were young.  Think about the first time you left your precious baby with a non-family member baby-sitter.  Or your child’s first day at school.  Or their first sleep-over at a friend’s place.  These were like mini letting go’s, to prepare you for the bigger letting go stuff ahead.

I recall the first time my son wanted to go surfing, just with his mates – and when he celebrated New Year’s Eve in the City, watching the Harbour Bridge fireworks, with his mates.  Driving by himself after passing his driving test.  Flying to Queensland with his mates on a surfing holiday.  And even now at 18, going to parties, pubs and clubs.

It does get easier

I know I’ve come a long way because my eldest son is currently at the snow with his mates and I’m confident and comfortable that he’ll be happy, healthy and safe.

Raising Great Kids – Letting Go

It’s been my experience that a wonderful thing happens to your kids as you gradually learn to let go.  They become happy individuals, able to confidently and comfortably stand on their own two feet and take on whatever life has to offer.

As parents it’s what we want – isn’t it?

What has been your experience of letting go?

I always love to receive your comments, so let me know what your thoughts are on raising great kids and letting go.

Thanks for reading another Raising Great Kids blog.

You might also enjoy:

Raising Great Kids – Unconditional Love

Raising Great Kids – Listening

Jan Littlehales